I just had to take the time to write about this or I’ll die…

*RING* *RING*

My sister answers the phone. I was watering my plants at the time and she approached me with a weirded out look and gave me the phone. I regretfully answered.

LJ: Hello?

Gay Sounding Telemarketer: Ma’am, nagtatanggal ba kayo ng buhok sa kili-kili? (Madam, do you remove your armpit hair?)

LJ: …

GST: Hello?

LJ: I’m sorry. Paki ulit (Can you repeat that)?

GST: Ma’am, tanong ko lang, nagtatanggal ba kayo ng buhok sa kili-kili? (Ma’am, I just need to ask, do you remove your armpit hair?)

LJ: (long pause) Where are you calling from?

GST: Ma’am sa IBC-13 po ito. (Ma’am this is from IBC-13)

LJ: Aaaah… (Thinking: WTF???)

GST: Ano po Ma’am, nagtatanggal po ba kayo ng buhok sa kili-kili? (Well, do you remove your armpit hair Ma’am?)

LJ: Well…

GST: Ma’am kasi po may sale kami ngayon. Meron po kaming magandang hair removal cream. (Ma’am because we’re having a sale now. We have a very effective hair removal cream.)

LJ: (Thinking: It is a telemarketer… With extremely bad sales training.) Ah ok lang. (Oh, its ok.)

GST: Sigurado po kayo Ma’am? (Are you sure Ma’am?)

LJ: Oo. Bagong wax lang ako EH. (Yes. I just waxed.)

GST: Ah ganun po ba… Ma’am mga gamit sa kusina kailangan nyo? Meron din po kami sale ngayon. (Is that so… Ma’am what about kitchen items, do you need some? We have a sale on those as well.)

LJ: Di na, ok lang. Thanks na lang. Kindly take our number off your list na lang. Thanks! (No, its ok. Thanks anyway. Can you take our number off your list please? Thanks!)

GST: Ano po? (Pardon me?)

LJ: (Oh crap, the Philippines don’t have a Do Not Call Law yet) Ah… Wag ka na tumawag ha? Thanks! (Uhm… Don’t call again okay? Thanks!)

Armpit hair… WTF was that about!!!